


Send help

by jayjem_jam



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, M/M, literally nobody is straight here, spy and thief AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 10:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27469126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayjem_jam/pseuds/jayjem_jam
Summary: When Shouyou signed up to be stationed in Rio, he had about two expectations for the mission:1. Warm2. PortugueseHe plays as hard as he works, and technically the fling was scheduled during his cooling off period. He got the okay from the powers that be to 'go out, live your youth'. Known but potentially undiscussed by the Powers, Shouyou's growing tally marks on the Oppression Bingo win him nothing but pain. His range of fun dwindles every day he becomes more aware. The fling was his venture out into Having Fun and suffice to say, he did not enjoy the Fun as much as he had vainly hoped to have. The guy was nice, no complaints there, eyes and arms and tall, but Shouyou just doesn't play the sex game. He's not even in it.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Send help

**Author's Note:**

> yes what if this is an elaborate set up to explain very badly how it is as an asexual and no I offer no apologies. for oihina week (part 2!) - day 2: BRAZIL

The downside with having friends who had prioritised sleep over friendship means that when Shouyou calls, they yell at him as they pick up.

"Noo," Tadashi groans as Kei barks out a disgruntled  _ what  _ **_now._ **

Hitoka straight up tells him that  _ there is a special place for you in hell, Hinata-kun. _

Tobio, the saving neutral grace, flags them all down.

"Why are you calling? I thought you got a thing." His face breaks into complicated facial acrobatics in indication of his incomprehensibility and judgement of the said 'thing'.

He opens his mouth. "I do, but -"

"Then  _ go?"  _ Kei cuts in, no longer playing at being patient. It is phrased as a question, but in his tone sits the exasperated  _ I do not want to tell you directly, make it happen _ .

"It's like, 5pm, why are you having a breakdown," Hitoka finally pulls herself up to an elbow, half her face tangled in hair. "It is dinner time, right?"

Tadashi, more awake and more human, smiles at him. Tired and crusty, they are all freckles and dimple when they aim a reassuring  _ hey you  _ at Shouyou.

"What's wrong, Shou?"

"So I had a thing," he takes in a breath. 

"Congrats," Kei intones flatly. Hitoka boos. It is unclear who she is booing at. 

"In the middle of the day?" Is all Tobio deems to be necessary to contribute to the imminent Crisis.

"I'm calling upon Non-judgmental Silence from you all under the Friendship Act. This is very weird and I need your support," he clasps his hands together, praying for mercy. "I promise to make it quick."

The Tribunal convenes, though judgment is fairly agreed upon. He gets three sentences. Make it quick before Kei starts to swear at him in the sanctity of the Kageyama home.

"Bring your swear jar," Hitoka, an actual snitch, whispers to Tobio. "That is a terrible violation of the Rules." 

_ "You're  _ a terrible violation of the Rules -"

_ "Enough!" _ Tadashi smiles, teeth on display. "Shouyou, if you would. Three sentences only, per the decision."

He had been rehashing the bare bones of the facts. He got this.

"The thing is a fling sex situation that I had. With a person. Then I told him I really liked him, which is why we should not keep having the fling sex situation."

On second thought, Shouyou does  _ not _ have this.

Tobio speaks up first, representative of the person who had come anywhere remotely close to an emotional confidante.

"You ran away?"

Shouyou hangs his head. "I ran away."

"Oh babe," Hitoka laments, face scrunched up in second-hand embarrassment and also gross empathy. "Those sentences are so painful."

"But would you say the sex was okay, objectively?" Tsukishima Kei the Scientist wants to know the people's thoughts on sexual enjoyment and pursuits.

"Objectively, there's nothing to complain about," Shouyou assesses.

"What about, long shot,  _ emotionally?  _ How do you feel now," Tadashi with the Kind Eyes smiles at him. "After?"

"Finish your sentence," Kei shoves a palm into his eye socket. 

"Just, super mortified. That was  _ not  _ what I was meant to say." He admits, kicking at wet sand clumps. 

"I could see how your parting statement could be misconstrued terribly," Kei drones. "Although there are other ways of coming out while post-coital, this was simply unprecedented."

"That's one way to phrase things," Tobio mutters. "Listen, Hinata Shouyou, go back and face the music."

Hitoka gasps, because she fully anticipated the drama from the line of thought.

"Only if you feel settled and ready though," she quickly tacks on. "Although I would like to know as many details as you can spare."

"Not helping," Tadashi murmurs. "I do think confronting the person is definitely going to resolve all misunderstandings, but if it makes you uncomfortable -"

"A lot of things make me uncomfortable," he admits. "Like right now, where you all judge me."

"We're judging you  _ off  _ of what you told us, which is once again better than your fling guy who only has a sole sexual encounter and your glorious parting line to rely on," Kei delivers the devastating line. "Although if he judges you harshly based off of those, we reserve full rights to eviscerate him, of course."

"Aww, you do care," Shouyou tearfully makes grubby hands at the blonde snark stick who hisses at him. 

"Be the bigger person," Tobio insists.

"I can't, I'm like one seventy-two," he laments. "From where I am, I can live out my life in fear  _ or  _ I move to Sicily with Noya-san. Problem-free, just us, the ocean and me assassinating international mob bosses."

Tadashi, the most emotionally invested and possibly the closest thing Karasuno got to an angel, pushes their hair out of their forehead. Their voice is gentle when speech starts.

"I don't think we're asking the right questions here, Shou. Emotionally, how do you feel about this guy?"

"Ooh," Hitoka mouths. "They're onto you."

"Oh shut it, it's not hard to tell," Kei rolls his eyes. 

"Yes or no, you'll have to turn back and talk anyways," Tobio, suddenly old and wise, imparts this wisdom. 

"I don't like that option," he grumbles. Tobio hears the  _ you're right  _ and snorts at him anyways.

"If you wanted sweet talk, you should have gone to literally anyone else but us," Kei points out. "And go back."

"You're awfully supportive of a fling," he mumbles, kicking at sand.

Whatever kind words Kei was going to dish out, he stows it away. The vague displeased twist of the mouth resumes as he sneers at Shouyou through a screen.

"Maybe I want to hear about you heartbroken over a summer fling,  _ shrimp.  _ Go on, destroy your chances."

"Wow,  _ harsh,"  _ Hitoka marvels. "Update me, Shou."

"Make a choice," Tobio insists. "And you're all whaa no regrets YOLO."

Shouyou turns to Tadashi. "He's younger than me. How is he so bad at young people speech?"

"I don't know, buddy," Tadashi's smile is rueful. "I also vote for returning and talking it out."

"You're all giving me solutions and I hate it here," he grounds out. "Fine, I'll go."

_ "Andiamo!"  _ Hitoka cheers.

"That's Italian!" He shrieks, and hangs up. 

The walk back seems awfully long. Shouyou swam across the English channel before, from Calais to Dover. He can potentially swim to Bueno Aires. It's a thought.

Knowing how he is microchipped beyond reasonableness both on his clothes and in his skin and those responsible for the chips can easily fish him out of the ocean and laugh him back to Japan for the stupid swim, he decides not to. But it is still a very attractive thought.

"Be a man!" Lev had told him once.

"Not a boy," he called back.

So that's basically a summary of his life.

He jogs back. The hotel room where he conducted the shameful confession is empty of human presence, cleaned and smelling clinical. The fling deemed his confession too harsh and left.

"Well," he says to the empty room. "That saves me an explanation."

  
  
  


When Shouyou signed up to be stationed in Rio, he had about two expectations for the mission:

  1. Warm
  2. Portuguese 



He plays as hard as he works, and technically the fling was scheduled during his cooling off period. He got the okay from the powers that be to 'go out, live your youth'. Known but potentially undiscussed by the Powers, Shouyou's growing tally marks on the Oppression Bingo win him nothing but pain. His range of fun dwindles every day he becomes more aware. The fling was his venture out into Having Fun and suffice to say, he did not enjoy the Fun as much as he had vainly hoped to have. The guy was nice, no complaints there, eyes and arms and tall, but Shouyou just doesn't play the sex game. He's not even in it. 

"Shrimp!" Kei barks in the comm. "Focus!"

"He's gone up an elevator - probably back to his room. Take the stairs," Tobio murmurs. 

"Sorry, translation," Hitoka cheerfully chips in.  _ "Move yo ass." _

He hauls ass, legs, suit and weapons up the stairs, leaping four steps at a time. He's been in the room to plant the spy cam before tailing the target at the bar for the good half of the night, so he knows where it is. Hopefully it's an easy shot - in and out, then he can leave the country and never come back ever again.

"You're about three seconds ahead. Inside," Tadashi urges.

The door clicks open without a sound as he forces his weight on it, but the line of light is new. He should be ahead.

A gun barrel points at the separation between his eyebrows, its holder at ease with the weapon. It's not the first time Shouyou had a weapon pointed at his head - there is a long list of range within the circumstances. However, it is veritably the first time he had a gun pointed at him from a guy he just hooked up with.

"Oh my," Toto tilts his head, Portuguese sliding smoothly. "Little runaway."

"Don't have time," he rushes, and curses as the door opens. Fist cocked, he lands a spectacularly unjustified uppercut across the face of the target, who slams face first into the door and droops onto the carpeted floor. "Okay now I made time," he huffs, turning around to face Toto. "Hi. Sorry about before."

"Oh no, red, we don't have time for an apology right now," Toto denounces, loftily. He's still mad. "I have business. Go hide in the balcony."

Shouyou stoops down, grabbing an unconscious ankle. "I'll just move him then."

Toto's eyes roll. "Keep 'im there. My client wants to see the body. Thank you for that. We'll talk once I'm done."

Shouyou knows firsthand how demanding Toto gets, how exacting he wants every detail. A workaholic himself, he admires that work ethic, how the lines of Toto's poised body connect to a singular point of danger. This is a wanted man, in all sense of the phrase. Shouyou should be beside himself.

He remembers babbling himself stupid about his family and the Shameful Confession and wow, he would have chosen the gun over Speaking Later.

"I'll just, be out there," he nods jerkily. 

"I'm not mad," Toto sighs. "Just confused."

"You wouldn't be the first."

"Later," he murmurs, softened and perhaps even charmed. Shouyou also remembers how much time passed between the volleyball game, the bar and then the tumbling into bed. He talked himself stupid and Toto leaned down to listen, lending a literal ear to his drunken ramblinh.  _ You're cute. I like how you talk.  _

"Sure," he swallows, and opens the window.

  
  
  


He climbs back in when Toto is pocketing USBs and cards, sliding into a Godzilla pencil case. Toto sees where he's looking, flicks a wrist and everything disappears. On the floor, there is Shouyou's unconscious target  _ and his contractor.  _

"Hey," he turns on the comms, uncaring of being listened to. "Explain why our contractor has access to the target's room."

"Good question," Tadashi's voice is displeased. 

"Who are you with?" Hitoka pipes curiously. Shouyou decides that's enough for them to do, he has his own investigation to delve into.

"Surprised, runaway?" Toto tips up a perfectly drawn brow. "Double crossed, weren't you?"

"I just hope we get paid," he puts his face on his palm, groaning. "This is  _ not  _ going where we planned it to."

"Well, isn't that life," Toto muses. "Let's get out of here. Maybe I'll even work out a deal for you."

  
  
  


Toto refuses to look at his face on their power walk to a small bar ten minutes away, but Shouyou runs close enough to sense that whatever substantial anger he harboured, it mostly dwindled to a much lesser form where they are now.

A hand through wavy hair, crusted by gel. Shouyou stares, transfixed. Toto tuts at him, the chiding for the sake of him appearing to be mad. They take a seat. Shouyou opens his mouth, but closes it when Toto holds up a finger.

"Was I a terrible bed partner?"

"No. No. I'm sure you're great. I mean," he closes his jaw with an audible click. "Objectively, you're great."

Toto's look of affront melts into one of confused eyebrow creasing. Shouyou powers on.

"I'm ace. Like, super asexual. It was nice, what we did, and if you want, we could do it again. But it meant less to me than it did for you, but by no means I don't want to discredit that we -"

Toto holds up another finger, long and knobbly.

"You could've led with that."

Shouyou ogles him. "Would you have been less mad?"

"I - no," Toto frowns. 

He giggles, stamping the hysteria down. "There really is no pleasing you, huh."

Half-hearted glares. Shoes knocking onto ankles. Shouyou makes some more digs at Toto's hair. The tense line of the beautiful body before his eyes mellows into a contented creature, fingers tangling with his. Shouyou baldly begs Toto to pay for his dinner.  _ That's a meal you owe me, red. _

  
  


"What's your name?" Toto demands. There is no bargain outside of a job. He takes before someone else takes. Shouyou curls his hand around a strong wrist, a watch strap cold against his fingers.

"I told you my real name."

Toto blinks. "That's stupid of you."

"Thanks," he rolls his eyes. "So I've been tol -"

"Oikawa," Toto interrupts. "Maybe next time you can pay me back that meal."

Oikawa is pressing down the collar of Shouyou's shirt. He's demanding for a kiss goodnight, but he's making a complicated manoeuvre at it. Shouyou is charmed, endlessly.

"Are you fishing for a kiss goodnight?" His mouth twists around a smile. Oikawa immediately frowns.

"No. Keep it to yourself."

Shouyou kisses him anyways, laughing, teeth knocking, hair pulling, into wine-sweet mouths. Oikawa calls him a brat. Shouyou tells him goodnight.

  
  
  


"Recap this to me - your boyfriend is Oikawa -" 

Shouyou interrupts, a bit too loudly. "He's not _ my _ anything -"

" - like Oikawa the  _ Grand  _ **_fucking_ ** _ King of Thievery  _ -"

"Who cut us a fair portion of pay after he robbed our swindling contractor into bankruptcy," Tadashi chips in.

"Who you are  _ seeing _ today -" Kei continues, tirade ongoing.

"I'm older than you, I can see who I want." The protest sounds weak even to his ears. 

"It is impressive how he just - _hacked_ into our system," Hitoka muses. "Maybe we should get a check on that."

"I can't believe you  _ slept  _ with Oikawa," Tobio gushes. "Get him to work with us!"

"Goodbye, gang, I'll call later!" He hangs up, as Hitoka protests terribly. Oikawa Tooru, renowned thief, charmer of people, strides to his table, hand sliding immediately to cup his jaw, bending however many inches of him down to kiss Shouyou hello.

"Hey," Shouyou smiles, dopey, stupid, giddy. Oikawa presses hard, a thumb smearing over his bottom lip, eyes crinkling.

"Cute earrings. You busy?"

"Oh I'm sure I can be swept off my feet by a handsome man who's keen on collecting his debt," he giggles as Oikawa tugs on the chain, twining his finger in the next.

"Wanna go?"

"Where?"

Oikawa's eyes promise mischief. "Everywhere and anywhere, darling. I'll show you the world."

**Author's Note:**

> there was probably more but i cannot for the life of me remember what came before or after this so this is all that we get! i'm so sorry oihina nation!
> 
> find me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/hozukitofu) and [cc](https://curiouscat.me/jenny_benny)! i have a writing [twitter](https://twitter.com/jayjem_jam) if anyone is interested in more bs or we can just vibe in the void together


End file.
